I miss you..

Running & Running...

well actually i noe about this long ago ler. i am always running after this person who is considered quite close to mi. i cherish him a lot. well i turned back and i realised that in order to run aft him, i have left lots of people behind. friends who i had not showed much concern abt and all my attention is with him. okaes i dun like him and my love lies with someone else but he is just a very important friend to mi. i keep running aft him, giving him my everything and even someone that treats mi very well last time. but he had never turned back to look even at mi. sometimes i run hard enough to run side to side with him and he will show mi some concern but then i will lag behind again. it is very tiring. i realised that i lost a lot of friends (some which are very very impt) just becos of this guy who dun even cherish mi a little. i am reali tired from always running aft him and hope that he will just take a look at mi. but it looks like it is not coming true. i sacrificed my lunch & sometimes dinner jsut to buy food to school to make sure that he is nt too hungry. but he never appreciates it.

i am tired but i cannot bear to give him up.i will be depressed without but he will just be himself without mi. he dun even need mi. well i recently then realised that my 2 best friends, Dumb & Dumber treats mi very nice except for the SEC 1 CLASS PHOTO. CHEY. actually the reason of the depressed mi is mainly him. being with him , i have no diginity at all and i just do whatever that he asked mi to do. thats my problem; i do everything that other people ask mi to do. no diginity at all. arifin told mi that maybe i just try to sae NO then things will be better. but if i do that then maybe he will leave mi. i sound so cheap. but hey a gay also got diginity de mahx. a gay also guy mahx except that gays like guys. ai ya. i dunno la. very dunno hw to sae.

well yesterday nite my gay crush replied mi and chat with mi for like 6 msgs but dunno y i so happy haha. well wish mi good luck bah.